A LIFE OF REGRET

In a quiet night in 2022, Saul David Clavano would have the heaviest panic attack he would ever experience in his life.

While winding down after a long night, Saul went to bed and tried to close his eyes, and go to sleep. Much like a few nights before, his thoughts had been racing, relentlessly, restlessly, non-stop, all throughout his mind. The difference between this particular night and the nights before, however, were that the thoughts for some reason were not stopping.

He got real existential.

He believed he was due to die soon. Any second. Drop dead.
What if it were sooner than later?
What if that weight in his chest was his heart stopping.
What if an asteroid hurtles into earth and destroys the planet?
What if he’s alone when this happens?
What if the wars never stop?
What if countries and cities are built on blood?
Why do people celebrate bloodshed?
Why aren’t we born free, everywhere?
What if a black hole swallows us up?
What was the point of any of this?
Why was I born
What if he dies a quiet life.
What if he can’t make amends?
What he can’t say sorry?

In a world where we seem to be masters of our own individual lives, why is there such an immense storm in you that drives you to chase after what you want not knowing how it might hurt others?

Saul ponders this question in the context of the modern nuclear family dynamic.

A LIFE OF REGRET is the sole feeling of grieving a living relationship because of how agonizing the reality of it is. With the knowledge of knowing that you might not be here tomorrow, will that be what makes you willing to change, finally?